DON'T do this after a breakup- TRUST ME!

Breaking up sucks. There’s no easy way to say it. Being thrown into single life again, after being part of a couple for a while is a big adjustment. Read below for what not to do, so you can avoid wasting time, embarrassing yourself, and feeling regretful. 

DON’T BE A HERMIT CRAB

Nothing can make you want to hide under the covers more than going through a break up. Whether you were blind-sided or initiated it, it’s far from easy to go through. But, the more you hide away, the harder it is to get yourself back out there. Take a day off, cry it all out, then try to start picking up the pieces. You’re stronger than you think!

DON’T DRUNK TEXT

Take it from me, the former drunk texting QUEEN. You will 100% regret drunk texting your ex. You’ll either open up a can of worms or worse, NOT GET A TEXT BACK. This can be damaging to your ego and make you hate yourself in the morning. If you don’t trust yourself not to drunk text, then lay off the booze for a little while.

DON’T SOBER TEXT EITHER. JUST DON’T TEXT YOUR EX, OK?

Texting your ex while you’re supposed to be broken up can blur the lines and cause more heartbreak. Whether you wanted the relationship to end or not, it ended for a reason and you should explore why. Maybe you’re meant to cross paths again in the future, but taking at least 6-9 months of no contact is imperative to see clearly. Out of sight, out of mind is real! Just give it time. 

DON’T NUMB YOURSELF WITH UNHEALTHY HABITS

The worst thing I did after breakups, was party too much. I was out most nights of the week drinking, staying up late, and hanging around the wrong people. I pretty much did anything I could to avoid my feelings and being alone. It wasn’t until I started channeling my heartbreak into self-care and creativity, that I began to gain perspective and confidence to bring into the next relationship. PS.-These days, I much prefer staying in watching YouTube in a face mask.

DON’T HOOKUP WITH EVERYONE

Let’s get one thing straight. I am the last person to slut-shame. I believe that all consensual hookups are good hookups. But too much too soon can fuck with your emotions. It’s completely normal and fun to explore your sexy side while single, but doing this in excess may cause you to confuse lust for love. Don’t believe the old wive’s tale of “Get over someone by getting under someone else”. It doesn’t work, btw. Wait until you’re thinking clearly!

DON’T DATE RIGHT AWAY

Dating someone new right away can cause you to bring old problems into a new relationship. Take time after your breakup to re-establish your expectations and evaluate your own damaging habits. This time frame may be different for everyone. I, for example, waited a year in between my last two relationships. This may seem like a long time, but it wasn’t enough time for me. I went from an extremely unhealthy four year relationship, where I was emotionally abused and controlled, to dating someone a year later who was just OK. But, anything was better than the last guy, right? WRONG. Jumping in too soon caused me to ignore red flags and ultimately end the relationship within the year due to him cheating on me. Take your time!

DON’T SHIT TALK THEM

It doesn’t matter what your ex did to you, handle it with grace. Not everyone needs to hear about how they cheated on you and treated you terribly. It can make you sound hung up and pathetic. Yes, thats harsh, but true. Share your business with a few people you trust and let karma handle the rest. Plus, you don’t want to be the topic of anyone’s gossip! 

DON’T POST TOO MUCH

Nothing says “Give me attention, I’m sad” quite like a newly single person on Instagram. I used to post stories, pics, tweets, and everything in between like “LIVING MY BEST LIFE” and then go home and cry myself to sleep. It was obvious to everyone around me, too! Taking a quick IG hiatus is highly recommended! Let them wonder.

DON’T CYBER-STALK

Unfollow, mute, delete, or block them and their family and friends right away. Keep your peace of mind by not checking up on them. Controlling what content you consume is key! Instead of wondering if they’re okay without you or trying to find their new beau, fill your feed with things that inspire and humor you. Watching stand-up comedy literally kept me sane during my last breakup!

DON’T MAKE ANY CRAZY DECISIONS

Don’t cut your bangs, get a tattoo, or move across the country because your man/woman broke up with you. Making any decisions when you’re upset or angry is a very dangerous game to play. Plus, bangs are totally not in style right now, right?

DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE ALONE

Being single is fun, if you let it be! There’s no one to consult with about plans, no one to fight with about what to watch on Netflix or where to go out to eat, and no one to steal your blanket at night. LOL, but seriously, embrace this time. Take yourself out on dates, go on girl’s trips, flirt with anyone you want, and get to know yourself better than you ever did before. The future you will thank you for it!

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Thank you for reading

Xo KP

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