Do you want to be a DOORMAT Or a DREAM GIRL?

In the past, I cared so much about being a “cool” girlfriend. I guess it’s because girls have  reputations of being needy, jealous, and high-maintenance. I used to care more about being cool than being happy (LOL, bad idea).  I didn’t want guys thinking I was annoying or insecure, ya know? So, basically, I would just pretend I was cool with whatever. I wouldn’t speak my mind, show jealousy, or get emotional.. at first. I would convince myself, and whoever I was dating, that I was a ray of sunshine who was unbothered by everything. Didn’t text me back? No biggie! Canceled plans on me again? It’s cool! Want to hang out at your house and never go on a real date? Sure, no problem. 

This would go on for a little while and then I would CRACK. After suppressing my disappointment for far too long, I would eventually lose my mind. I went from “cool girl” to “crazy girl” in the matter of seconds, accomplishing the exact opposite of what I had intended to in the first place. I made this mistake many times, resulting in heartbreak and years of tumultuous relationships. It took me far too long to figure out how to set my standards while being chill. 

The key is knowing how and when to SPEAK UP.

Ok, so don’t start nagging your guy for every miss-step, but rather pick and choose your battles. If he’s disrespecting you, compromising your expectations, or just being a dick, speak up! If it’s something that you won’t care about next week, maybe just let it go. No matter what, don’t let things build up, resulting in an emotional melt-down. Simply, think it out for a few hours and decide if it’s worth discussing. Set your expectations from the very beginning, so you don’t pull a KP and eventually go ape shit. In all fairness, it’s unrealistic to start setting new expectations a few months or years down the line.

You can still be “cool” without compromising your self-worth. It’s cool to be confident in yourself. It’s cool to not text him all night while he’s with the guys. It’s cool to go to the game with him and drink a beer. Being relaxed and fun is veryyyy cool. 

Most importantly, keep your composure. If there’s something to argue about, don’t yell or get nasty. You catch more flies with honey than you do by being a bitch, or however the saying goes! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Until next time!

Xo KP

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