Questions to Ask When Dating in Your 30s
As the world slowly opens back up, single people rejoice as dating becomes more accessible and safe. After social distancing, I know you’re ready to get back out on the scene. Let’s make sure you’re not wasting any time while looking for your other half!
Asking the right questions at the right time can ensure that you’re not keeping the wrong person around. Whether you’re in your 30s, late 20s, or just ready to find a serious relationship, this post is for you. Here are the questions you should be asking while dating. Don’t worry, I’m not leaving you hanging! I’ll also tell you when it’s appropriate to bring up these topics. No one hates an awkward conversation more than me!
Are you looking for a serious relationship?
When: Before you decide to meet
Whether you’ve been set up by your Aunt Barbara, or you swiped right on eachother, knowing what the other person is looking for is something you need to know ASAP. Don’t waste another cute outfit on a guy who’s just “LoOkiNg fOr SoMeThiNg CaSuaL”. In a world of texting, and DMs, there’s plenty of opportunity to ask this question before deciding to go on a date with someone.
What life experiences do you want to have? (travel, leisure, the fun stuff) KEEP IT CASUAL
When: 1st date
Keep first dates fun. Skip the interview style questions and get into the exciting stuff. Asking lifestyle questions, or sharing your future plans can be a great way to gauge if someone is the right fit for you. Picking up on red flags is easier than you think. For example: If you tell a date that you want to travel the world for the next 5 years, and they respond with “I hate to travel”, that just miiiiight be a little problem, don’t you think? There’s a lot you can learn about a person on a first date.
Do you want to have kids and/or get married?
When: 2nd-3rd date
I know this seems crazy. But, believe me when I say, this is one of the most important questions you should ask early on. If someone is serious about their dating life, then they won’t get freaked out by this subject. People overlook these questions all the time and it can cause lots of turmoil in the future. You can casually bring up the happy couples and kids in your life and let it roll into a conversation about the future.
Are you seeing anyone else?
When: After 1 month/4-5 dates/when serious feelings develop
PSA: You’re allowed to date more than one person before committing.
This question is a tough one to ask, and you may decide to forgo it altogether. But, looking back, I wish I would’ve asked this in my past relationships. I could’ve wasted way less time. Just because you’ve both expressed that you’re looking for a serious relationship, doesn’t mean that neither of you must seize communication with all other prospects. Before you ask this question, work out the answers in your head. If they tell you that they’re seeing other people, do you decide to keep seeing them? Do you give an ultimatum? Make sure you work out all the possibilities in advance, so that you can react accordingly.
I hope this helps to set you up on your new dating adventures! Be safe out there, and remember to have fun. Check out my video below for a podcast on this subject!
Xo KP